On summer...

I started to type this post long ago, but only made it as far as the title, and now it is September.  Which seems fitting, as that is how our summer went.  it was there for a moment, then it was gone. 

I feel like this summer we finally broke the surface of our drowning in littles and took some big gulps of air.  We still flounder and drop below the surface once in a while, but we're now treading water instead of drowning.  We've found a babysitter we trust as another option besides my mother who we trust to feed and put to bed all three kiddos on her own. We've gotten some (very brief!) time away.  Life is still chaotic and messy and I'm forever behind on projects (my closet will just always be a disaster, I'm afraid) but it feels more manageable.

So, I failed miserably at getting my kids signed up for any "summer activities."  Since I'm a procrastinator, literally everything was full by the time I started trying to register them.  Then I had an "aha" moment.  My kids are in a wonderful daycare center where they get to play outside all day and learn through play, and my work schedule meant any activities would be in the evenings or on weekends.  The activities I was looking at registering (swimming lessons, gymnastics, dance, sports sampler) were all indoors.  Why, for the life of me, would I put my kids indoors in the middle of our relatively short Midwest summer?  So, I viewed my procrastination failure as a blessing in disguise and instead focused on getting outdoors for walks, bike rides, and the playground.  We set up our tiny pool and took full advantage of the neighbor's quick-set pool, ran through sprinklers, drank out of the hose, and enjoyed summer.

And we blinked, and summer was over.   I sent my kids to daycare today in pants and sweatshirts.  Sure, it's getting up to 65 today, but the morning was chilly.  Which I love - I love this time of year, with crisp mornings followed by warm, sunny days.  But it means we are getting closer to the tipping point - the time when my kiddos will be closer to four than three, and closer to two than one.  How is that possible already?  SB and BW have moved to the next preschool room (already?) They just moved from the toddler room a few months ago, and Nugget moved to the toddler room.  She's still bald except for her mullet-in-training in the back, so she still looks like a baby, at least.

Potty training times two

Potty training twins is a bit scary.  We dove head-first into potty training over the long weekend.

And nailed it. I am so proud of my big girls.

However, SB and BW went back to daycare this morning for the first time in over a week - transitions are hard, especially for SB.  I am so anxious to hear if they continue their success, and worried about setbacks.

Another growth update

Well, I guess this is really more of the same growth update.  I had my ob appointment and my u/s results finally posted, so I could see where nugget is growth-wise.  Her weight is right at the 50%, and all the measurements are right on - the only one that is a bit strange since we have so many tall genes is her femurs are only measuring in the 37%.  But then I remind myself that these measurements are done in millimeters, so there is a reason they give a +/- for the measurements.  Otherwise, she is measuring right in between the measurements for SB and BW for the same timeframe.  If that keeps up, she will hopefully be right between them weight-wise at birth, which would put her at about 7 lbs.  OB also declared at my appt that nugget is still breech.  He said if she hasn't flipped by 36 weeks he will schedule a version to try and turn her.  She is also posterior much of the time.  I have another u/s coming up already - that should be the last or second-to-last one, I expect.  I am very relieved that I haven't had any complications from the circumvallate placenta so far.

SB and BW get very excited to say hi to the baby, touch the baby, kiss the baby etc. with my bump.  I'm fairly certain they don't actually get the concept, but it's fun to see them so excited.

I'm starting to get fairly anxious about 3 under 3. As I was doing bathtime for SB and BW the other night, and they were all giggly and goofy, I started thinking about how bath/bedtime will work once nugget is here.  I expect that the hubs and I will need to split bath and bedtime duties for a while, as I will be nursing and probably busy with nugget while SB and BW are getting ready for bed.  Hopefully once nugget is sitting up on her own bath and bedtime will become more of an assembly line and group activity and will be a bit more manageable.  I am so lucky that hubs is willing and able to help out, but I also love bedtime.  I have so little weekday time with SB and BW the way it is, I hate to also give up bedtime routine every night.

Unfinished projects

If you sift way, way back through my blog to the pre-kid days, I posted about a blanket I was making step-daughter, called the Babette blanket.  It is a beautiful pattern that I highly recommend, although I was lazy with switching yarn on my granny squares so I've had to do some remedial work on it and it isn't a blanket that can handle the wear and tear of everyday use because of the way I switched colors without tightly anchoring the yarn.  Lesson learned the (very) hard way after squares started to unravel.

In that post, I posted that I was probably going to make another, since I had to buy 17 skeins of yarn to complete the blanket.  I didn't make another, because it frankly was a really, really time-consuming blanket.  However,  I did have a large amount of leftover yarn that I was able to use to make crocheted blankets for SB and BW.  Neither of which is finished, and they are almost 2.  It's a good thing that I grossly overexaggerate the size that a baby blanket needs to be, because they will be able to use these blankets into their teens if they wish.  I have mostly finishing left on one blanket, and probably several more rows of crochet on the other.  one is a bubble pattern, that has the colors from step-daughter's blanket plus a few more, and the other is a wave pattern that uses 12 different colors.  I love them both and need to finish them so SB and BW can love them, too.

Now, I'm stuck a few months from nugget's arrival, and I haven't a start on a blanket.  Haven't even thought about a blanket, and don't really know what to do.  I think I may wait a few years, and start then.

Then there are the photos.  I wrote letters to SB and BW periodically through the first year, and I had grand plans to do photo memory books for them and incorporate the letters and other milestones.  I am 4 months into BW's book, haven't started SB's book, and SB and BW are quickly approaching 2.  We still don't have any, ANY framed pictures of SB and BW in our house, primarily because by the time I get around to printing pictures, it is months after the pictures were taken, and they feel out of date.  I don't know how other people do this.  Do they just survive on less sleep than me?  Should I be putting this stuff as a higher priority?  Do I just give up and try again in a few years?

I'm also feeling third-child guilt already because, in addition to not having any sort of baby blanket project in the works for nugget, I have taken like, 2 bump photos this pregnancy.  No weekly photos, no love for nugget-still-in-the-womb.  Don't get me wrong, I feel very bonded to her, I am excited for her arrival (although also terrified) but I have horrible pregnancy acne, and it's just work to remember to take the photos before I am comfortably ensconced in lounge pants and a huge t-shirt.

I'm a chiro convert

So, when I was pregnant with SB and BW, I had really bad pelvic pain, which I self-diagnosed as sacro-iliac (SI) joint pain and SPD (symphsis pubis dysfunction).  SPD can be quite debilitating and seems to be fairly common in twin pregnancies.  It sounds a bit comical, but it basically hurts to spread your legs at all.  So, getting into a car, turning over in bed, trying to push something aside with your leg - all cause pretty ridiculous pain.  Any activity would pretty much increase my pain drastically the next day.  Turning over in bed was something I would have to talk myself into and required tensing and contracting certain muscles to hold my pelvis in place as much as possible.  I talked to my doctor about my pain, and he prescribed a maternity support belt, which did nothing.  It took a few months after SB and BW were born before I wasn't feeling constant shifting and rubbing in my pelvis.

Fast forward to this pregnancy.  I had some concerns about pelvic pain, but I thought I would probably be in the clear since I was only carrying one baby this time.  I hosted a baby shower for my niece, at around 22 weeks, and by the end of the day I had soreness in my upper pelvic area in back.  I chalked it up to being on my feet for the whole day and didn't think much of it.  Then, a few days later, I tried to lean over to look into a storage bin.  I immediately had shooting pain in my pelvis that made me crumple up on the bed.  I finally got upright and hobbled upstairs.  I tried all sorts of yoga poses and stretches but nothing helped.  Turning over in bed was suddenly impossible without serious pain.  I was having to grab the waistband of my pants and physically pull my pelvis around to avoid aggravating the pain. I googled pelvic/tailbone pain in pregnancy and read that the cure is delivery.  I wanted to cry, as I didn't know if I could face 18 more weeks of the pain.  It hurt to pick up SB and BW. It hurt to get up from a seated position. It hurt to stand.  I started developing severe sciatic pain on top of my pelvic and tailbone pain.

I've been a bit distrustful of chiropractors, and I've read some pretty yucky medical malpractice legal cases resulting from chiropractic care, so I've never been to a chiropractor before.  But I could tell something was not right, so I bit the bullet and went to see a chiropractor who is also an acquaintance of the hubs and I, and who I know had experience with chiro care during pregnancy.  She evaluated me, stated my left SI joint was out of place, and the inflammation was pressing on my sciatic nerve, and then proceeded to pop it back in.  It made a massive popping noise when it went back into place, and I had an immediate feeling of relief, almost an endorphin rush.  My pain got progressively better throughout the day, and was gone, literally gone, by that night.  She advised me to ice and not pick up SB and BW for the next few days and return for a follow up.  I did not ice or avoid picking up the girls, but remained pain free.  She did a small adjustment a few days later and realigned things again, and said I don't need to return unless it goes out of alignment.  It's been a few weeks now, and I am still pain-free.  I am amazed at how completely it alleviated my pain.  I'll probably go back one more time in the third tri (which is fast approaching) and make sure everything is in alignment before delivery.

Takeaway?  Don't rely only on your doctor to point you in the right direction regarding pain in pregnancy, and don't rely on google.  Explore other options. 

Indecisiveness

I am a terribly indecisive person. I hate having to make choices. This results in my decision-making usually happening in a few ways - (1) I rely on someone else to make the decision for me, (2) I explore limited options so I won't have many choices, or pick the first thing I find, or (3) I find many things, try to determine what others have done, think their choice is the best make a choice based on what others have said and often regret it an change to something else.

This indecisiveness is particularly stressful as a parent, because parenting is constant choices and decision-making. Crib? Co-sleep? Bed-share? Sleep training? Should I ease up on sleep training tonight because of teething? Cloth or disposable? Baby led weaning? I make choices, then instantly second-guess them. Argh. I knew parenting would be hard, but I never thought I would feel like I was so TERRIBLE at it. I know, if I care whether I'm terrible, it means I'm not terrible, but it's still a nearly constant feeling of second-guessing nearly everything I do and whether it's the right thing. 

Bottom line is, I have to just remind myself that I have two beautiful babies who are growing, meeting milestones, and are some of the happiest beings you will ever meet, and I need to just breathe. 

Traveling while breastfeeding - aka pumping in an airport bathroom

I've had to take a few trips for work since the babies were born. This is tough, for two reasons: (1) pumping and traveling with breast milk, and (2) ensuring care for babies while I'm away. I have gotten completely comfortable with caring for both babies on my own - dr. appts, overnights, etc. Is it tough? Yes. Is it doable? Definitely. Kudos to single moms of twins, though - I'm certainly glad I don't have to do it all the time. Although DH has become more comfortable with caring for the girls on his own, so far the overnight care has been pretty daunting for him, so my mom usually comes to help out. Luckily my work trips are usually somewhat flexible so I have been able to plan around DH's schedule and my mom's schedule.

 My trips have been for one overnight, two full days - I'm not comfortable with anything longer than that yet, and I think the amount of milk I would have to bring back for anything longer would be prohibitive - a two-full day trip is 100oz plus pumping and dumping some... 

 For the few days prior to my trip, I don't freeze any milk, and instead store it in the fridge in 8oz Evenflo bottles, numbered 1-9 or 10 so DH can easily tell which is the oldest and should be used first. This allows him to prep bottles with the least amount of hassle, and he can always give an additional ounce or two without having to defrost extra. This was especially helpful for the first trip where I wasn't sure what the girls would drink in their "at home" bottles. (SB in particular goes on a bit of a nursing strike when I'm gone). Here is my packing list for pumping while traveling: 

 -handsfree bra 

 -medela pump - "pump" only, plus wall adapter and battery adapter 

-nursing cover (in case you have to, in a pinch, pump in public) 

-medela cleaning wipes 

-zip lock bags (for storing pump parts in between pumping sessions) 

-large hardside cooler. I think this keeps things colder than a softside, but it may be more difficult to stow under your seat on the plane - I use one that still has a canvas exterior and shoulder strap so I can carry all the other items for pumping. My pump and pump parts fit in the main section of the cooler. 

-12 8 oz evenflo bottles These don't have screw on caps, but I use the medela ones - I have almost 12, and I use the inverted nipple/cap combo on the few remaining. You can buy extra caps, I believe, but I haven't searched to hard for them since I don't need them often. 

-ice packs 

-pump parts - one full set. I usually plan out my pumping so that I can pump and combine bottles and use every bottle for storage. I don't combine cold and freshly pumped milk, as I believe this is a no no, so this sometimes takes some coordination. 

-dish soap to wash parts at the hotel 

-2 80 mL snap-lid containers 

-8 AA batteries 

 -hand sanitizer 

 My trips have, for the most part, gone off without a hitch. A few things I've learned: (1) Nursing/pumping will allow you to travel with breastmilk in excess of the 3 oz rule. You also can bring items greater than 3oz if they are frozen solid when you pass through security. They will test a random number of bottles, depending on the volume you are traveling with - they no longer open the bottles or use the paper strips. 

(2) The TSA website says you should tell them a TSA agent if you are traveling with breastmilk. Even if you do, they will still run it through the xray without telling anyone else, you will have to tell the person operating the xray that you are traveling with breastmilk, too. 

(3) Make sure you ask for a fridge for your hotel room, and make sure it will be turned on and cold prior to your arrival. Also make sure that it isn't so cold that it will freeze your breast milk - if you freeze then thaw breast milk, you have to use it in 24 hours. 

(4) airports are surprising unfriendly for pumping. If you can find a family restroom, use that. Otherwise, sometimes the handicapped stall may be your best bet, or a quiet corner under a nursing cover. 

 (5) Don't be afraid to inquire about time and a place to pump at your destination.

(6) people will be very curious why you are traveling with a large cooler. 

(7) plan to nurse as soon as you get home if possible - even if it's a dreamfeed. 

Breastfeeding twins - six months and beyond

Once I returned to work, breastfeeding became a little more complicated because of time constraints, but is overall easier. I returned at 12 weeks, but I still have essentially the same schedule. The babies usually wake up between 6 and 7. If it's earlier than about 6:15, we try to get them back to sleep, or they turn into weepy puddles of tiredness around 7:45 am. I usually tandem nurse them at 7 am, unless they are unhappy with waiting. They then got 5 oz bottles at daycare at 9, 12, and 3. I pick them up around 5:15 from daycare, tandem nurse at 5:30, then tandem nurse them to sleep at bedtime (usually around 7 pm. I still nurse them separately in the middle of the night unless both are awake and fussing to eat at the same time. Since starting solids, they still nurse at 7 am, then have a fruit puree at daycare around 8:30, a 5 oz bottle at daycare at 9:30, 5 oz bottle at 12:30, and 4 oz bottle at 3:30, then tandem nurse at 5:30, veggie puree and other solids at 6 pm, then tandem nurse for bed between 6:45 and 7. Around 5 months their nursing time started to drop, first to around 15 minutes, then to 10, and they average about 6-8 minutes at a time now. I still need to tweak the feeding schedule, as I'm needing to continue to increase solids intake, and I thin they are consuming more than enough breast milk at daycare and not nursing enough at home. They are also reverse cycling to some extent, and are eating more at the middle of the night feeds than they do during the daytime nursing sessions - we're still at two nighttime nursing sessions, and occassionally three, Zombies. We are still Zombies. Although not ideal for mom and dad's rest (dad still gets up to help with babies in the middle of the night if necessary), BW has gone from the 30% for weight to the 75%, and SB went from 30% to 50%. Of course, they are both also in the upper 90th percentiles for length.

I'm still pumping at work, obviously, and I still pump every night around 10 pm. I loathe this 10 pm pumping session, but I am concerned about my supply/freezer stash dwindling, which is probably ridiculous, considering I have a 1000-ounce freezer stockpile, but I can't give it up yet - although I have started to skip it occasionally. Which I always regret when I'm engorged at about 1 am. I'm probably cut it out in another few weeks or so - I think when the babes get close to 9 months I'll be okay with dropping it.

Breastfeeding twins - the first six months

After two weeks, DH had to head back to work. We were also struggling with the time it took for the supplemental feeding with the syringe feedings. We had met with the lactation comsultant a few times and discussed paced bottle feeding, so we switched over to Tomm.y Tipp.ee bottles for supplementing. Because the girls had not been back up to birth weight at their one week appointment, we were also having to go in for periodic weight checks.  I also decided that I was going to feed the babies on demand, instead of on a schedule and supplement as necessary. The babies still stuck to about an every three hours schedule, but I would usually start the first nurser before the three-hour mark to avoid two very hungry babies at the same time, so the overall scheduling was fairly variable.

Because it took BW three weeks to get to one ounce over her birth weight and she was gaining slowly, I still had to set an alarm and not let the babies go more than three  hours nursing at night. This paid off, and around four weeks, BW suddenly figured nursing out. Her latch improved, she stopped falling asleep eating, and she was definitely getting adequate calories. This was a bit of a turning point for nursing. I stopped having to supplement, which freed up some time, nursing both babies was only taking about 45-60 minutes, and I got the all-clear from the doctor around 4.5 weeks to let them sleep as long as they wanted at night. (I stil remember the first time it only took an hour to feed and change both babies in the middle of the night. I was SO excited to get 2 consecutive hours of sleep).

Once we had nursing down, I started to try tandem again. I bought a twin nursing pillow, but my torso was too long for it to be effective - It was designed to be used with the football hold, and I ended up having to prop it up on my lap and still hold both babies' heads/upper bodies the entire time they were nursing. The only good thing about it was that it had a "lip" on the edge so I could balance a baby on the pillow while I lifted the next baby into position, but for the most part, I still needed DH's help. I then searched "tandem nursing" online to see if there were other options for positioning, and discovered a position that worked for me, which was to semi recline on the bed or couch and effecitvely lay a baby on each side and cradle them in each arm, with a pillow to support my arms. This was still pretty difficult when the babies didn't have good head control, and I only used it in a pinch when I had two babies who were hungry at the exact same time, but once the babies' head control and assisted sitting improved, this also became fairly routine. It also helped to have an overstuffed rocking recliner - I could recline a little bit, and use the overstuffed arms to balance the babes as I got them into position. The rocker recliner is a beast, not my first choice of decor, and dominates the baby room, but it was definitely a wise purchase.

Around 8 weeks, the babies started to sleep a longer stretch at night - and by 12 weeks, they were only waking once to nurse, around 3 am, which meant they were going about an 8-hour stretch. They also otherwise essentially reset themselves to the every-three-hours schedule that was originally started in the hospital. This was divine. My body adjusted quickly to the one night waking around the same time, I felt well-rested just in time to return to work, and I could pump around 10 at night to build my freezer stash. I joyfully told everyone that our babies were good sleepers, love it, so easy.... This lasted for about one month, and the babies went back to sleeping anywhere from 4-6 hours before their first waking. My body does NOT adjust to waking between 12 and 2 am. That must be some awkward place in my sleep cycle or something. Dreamfeeding doesn't help. But all in all, we were over the nursing hump and things were "easy"  

I'm back!

So, I've been on hiatus for a long time, like a bad blogger. But I'm making a comeback. Since my last post, I've gotten pregnant, delivered twin girls, and I'm currently in the thick of raising my twins, working, and trying to stay sane. I like to refer to other blogs for insight on my twins, so I thought I would dust off my blog and hopefully provide a place for info for others as well. I'll probably do some historical posts to cover things that have already happened, an some current info, so bear with me as I jump around.