Thursday, March 27, 2014

Indecisiveness

I am a terribly indecisive person. I hate having to make choices. This results in my decision-making usually happening in a few ways - (1) I rely on someone else to make the decision for me, (2) I explore limited options so I won't have many choices, or pick the first thing I find, or (3) I find many things, try to determine what others have done, think their choice is the best make a choice based on what others have said and often regret it an change to something else.

This indecisiveness is particularly stressful as a parent, because parenting is constant choices and decision-making. Crib? Co-sleep? Bed-share? Sleep training? Should I ease up on sleep training tonight because of teething? Cloth or disposable? Baby led weaning? I make choices, then instantly second-guess them. Argh. I knew parenting would be hard, but I never thought I would feel like I was so TERRIBLE at it. I know, if I care whether I'm terrible, it means I'm not terrible, but it's still a nearly constant feeling of second-guessing nearly everything I do and whether it's the right thing. 

Bottom line is, I have to just remind myself that I have two beautiful babies who are growing, meeting milestones, and are some of the happiest beings you will ever meet, and I need to just breathe.