Did you hear that?

BW is in this fun stage where she says "Did you hear that?" or "Did you see that?" and the hubs and I almost always repeat it and giggle because all we can think of is Elf and Will Farrell and the belch scene when he says "did you hear that?"  It's awesome. 

Christmas with 2 and a half year olds is SO MUCH FUN.  They get it enough to be excited about it this year.  They can sing large portions of Christmas songs and have some favorites (Rudolph, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah...)

Christmas with 2 and a half year olds and an infant is EXHAUSTING.  Nugget started sleeping better, and is taking bottles again (hooray!) but then got sick and therefore sleeping like poo again, plus is suddenly starvingmusteatseveraltimesatnightbecauseyoudidn'tfeedmeforafewweeksexceptforthoseyuckybottlethings.
I got a whopping 6 hours of interrupted sleep last night, some of which was on SB and BW's floor since BW must have had a nightmare and either wanted to sit in the bathroom pretending to poop with the lights blazing or have me sleep next to her on the floor.  Floor it is.  So, we're hosting both Christmas Eve and Christmas day at our house (thank you, divorced parents).  Luckily, the hubs is the cook in the family, an this week is the week our cleaning lady comes, but still.  I already don't have enough time.  Even with doing nearly all of my shopping online, I am still struggling to find time to wrap the gifts. Christmas cards just got finished up last night (and in the mail today! they might make it!).  Work still needs to be done and stuff, and the end of the year is looming quickly.  At least I'm sort of halfway not really but its better than it was caught up on laundry. 

So, I could be freaking out.  I could be sleeping even less to get everything done (and I probably will tonight and tomorrow) but last night as we wrote out Christmas cards we had ice cream and DH and I teased each other and laughed and entertained DSD with our witty banter and childish behavior (there was a pen fight that drew blood and tickling and sitting on one another and otherwise acting not our age).  It was a great pre-holiday evening.

Bottle refusal

Nugget has taken me into new territory once again.  About a month ago, she started getting wishy-washy about taking her bottles.  Daycare was struggling to get her to take her whole bottle.  Daddy was struggling at home to get her to take her whole bottle.  I wasn't too worried because she was teething and was only missing out on a few ounces here and there. 

Now, a month later, the little stinker is pretty much outright refusing bottles.  Takes an ounce here or there.  I can nurse over lunch most days, and have been doing so, but she is effectively taking in anywhere from 2-4 ounces in addition to her nursing session.  If she is getting a full session, which I think she is, she is probably getting close to the 9 oz she would be expected to take in, so I'm not too worked up about it, but it makes life more interesting, as I'm supposed to have a work trip coming up, that I am seriously expecting I might have to bring my mom with me on so she can watch Nugget and I can nurse, since she won't take bottles.  She's not nursing at night to make up for the low volume at daycare, in fact has dropped to one night waking, and isn't eating much for solids yet, so I'm a bit baffled.  She could easily be taking in 5+ oz a nursing session though, so 5 feedings could still be 20-25 oz of milk, which isn't abnormal. SB and BW were every-three-hours during the day and 1-2 times a night nursers until close to a year, so this chubby baby who slows down her eating thing is all new to me.

Sickness strikes again

It's only December, and I already feel like we are living at the doctor's office this cold and flu season.

SB kicked things off with an ear infection.  This was like her third ear infection total, so it wasn't really on my radar.  10 days of antibiotics later...

Nugget had her six month appointment, and as I wrote earlier, had a double ear infection. Since she's been on antibiotics twice recently (ear infection, then respiratory infection) they tried a Z-pac this time - three days of antibiotics for her.

Then, BW had a couple accidents at daycare, and was suddenly waking up every morning with a wet pull-up.  I greatly appreciate daycare, because I would probably have been clueless had they not gently suggested that accidents like that can be indicative of a UTI.  So, after a doctor visit and urine sample (I'll write more about that later) BW was diagnosed with a bladder infection.  7 days of antibiotics for her.  Then, she has to have a repeat urine sample 3 days after finishing the antibiotics.  The following week, Nugget is scheduled for an ear recheck to make sure her ears are clear since she's had two ear infections in short order.

Sigh.  At least giving birth this year means we met our deductible long ago.

The last time...

I read an article or blog post a few years ago, can't remember which, about how we celebrate the "firsts" for kids, but how it's the "lasts" that are the most bittersweet.  With Nugget, I am finding how true that is.  I am 99% sure she is our last baby.  As the article stated, you often don't even know that you had the "last" until it is already gone.  Like the last time baby fits into a newborn outfit.  Or the last time you see that gummy smile before a tooth pokes through. 

I've sold our infant swing.  The rock n play is folded up, waiting for me to list it for sale.  The bouncy seat is stashed in our storage room, also waiting to be sold.  Nugget is closer to seven months than six.  She is sitting up on her own, army crawling across the floor, and loving eating solids.  I am oh-so-tired, but I know that there will be  time not very far off that I will not sleepily carry Nugget into our room in the early morning hours, before the sun is quite up, and snuggle and nurse her while we both half-doze.

This morning, BW picked out her clothes, then completely dressed herself, except for a little help with her socks.  With three under three, I've been working on self-dressing with SB and BW, but to have it suddenly a reality makes me realize how quickly they are growing up.  SB talked excitedly this morning about how when she gets bigger she will ride on the school bus, the biggest one.  Soon enough, little one. 

......

Then, we got to daycare and BW threw a fit because she wanted to go first (I'm not sure what or how she wanted to go first, as we were walking down the hall and she was in front of me) and then SB started crying as well, because why wouldn't you cry if you sister is crying? Still my little toddlers, after all :)

On starting solids, the second time around

I did a post when I started solids with SB and BW, which you can find here.  Yet again, I was such a first-time mom.  No cereal - it's empty calories! No iron supplements - we'll feed iron-rich foods! 

Result?  Two anemic babies.

Not serious anemia, but we had to do twice-daily iron drops, SB and BW seemed particularly vulnerable to illness, which then caused their hemoglobin levels to drop again, and it was a months-long process of iron supplements, frequent scanning of the internet and nutrition labels to find iron-rich foods, and finger-sticks to check levels.  And iron drops?  Horrid.  It's like drinking liquid pennies. Oh, and they can stain teeth, so they should be mixed with something.

The other result is I cringe when I see women commenting on various parenting sites that "food before one is just for fun" or quoting kellymom.com as the end all/be all of reliable sources on the high level of absorption of iron from breastmilk, or "cereal is garbage and tastes terrible", or "cereal is just filler and has no nutritional value" - this last one just kills me.  It does have nutritional value - it has iron in it.  Even if the iron in BM is highly absorbed, it's not enough, and if you have kids that aren't interested in eating iron-rich foods (like SB in particular), anemia is a real possibility. I've even seen some moms post that it is OKAY for your baby to be anemic.  Iron is important for brain development.  I'm not willing to sacrifice brain development because baby cereal doesn't taste very good.  You know what else doesn't taste very good? Iron drops.

SO, Nugget has been sampling the baby cereal (although we skipped rice and went right to oatmeal). And, as I would expect of my roly-poly chubbers baby, she loves eating like a big girl. 

Although my experiences with SB and BW have changed my direction a bit this time around, it's also given me good knowledge so I don't have to rely on cereal as a sole iron source.  We'll be offering blended meat and blended beans (SB and BW ate lots of beans, and still do - great source of iron). We also offered SB and BW blackstrap molasses frequently - as a syrup on pancakes, as a sauce on chicken, as a dipping sauce for meatballs, and they loved it.  I'm not sure if they would still eat it - they haven't had it in a while, and it's a pretty strong flavor, but it was very versatile for us, and SB liked it so much that she wouldn't eat plain chicken but would eat it if it was drizzled with blackstrap molasses.

In other news...sob.  My baby is already moving on to solids.  6 months went fast, I'm sure the next 6 will only go faster.

I'll take the gift of sleep for the holidays, please

My last post included Nugget's sudden penchant for middle of the night parties every 45 minutes to an hour or more.  This went on for a week.  Nugget was sleeping in the RnP for portions of the night so we could all get some sleep.  Nugget was spending a few hours attached to the boob so we could all get some sleep.  I have much greater sympathy for those moms who say their child won't sleep unless they are attached, because we did that for a couple hours two nights in a row.  I learned that I love baby snuggles, but bed-sharing is not for me.  The manner in which I have to lay to make sure I am not concerned about baby rolling in to me, and the shallow sleep pattern I am in since I am conscious of baby next to me is not restful at all.  Yawn.

Anyway, to keep this brief, Nugget had her 6-month check-up, and it turns out she had a double ear infection.  I felt like a terrible mom, but aside from some differences in her normal behavior that really only clued me in after the fact (the waking all the time thing, and being a booger about taking bottles at daycare) she was absolutely unchanged.  She was her same smiley, cooing self, and even her night wakings she was cooing and squealing like she just wanted to be awake for the heck of it. No fever, no tugging on ears, nothing.  So, good to know that the kid doesn't show signs of being sick like I would expect.

It's taken a course of antibiotics and a few days, but Nugget is finally, after almost 2 weeks, starting to sleep some longer stretches again.  Every time I get her to sleep and lay her down, I pray she will sleep at least 2 hours.  Last night she slept from 8-10, and 10-3.  I'll take it.

In other news, she is at the weight limit, and, with rolling and sitting unassisted and being almost able to pull herself fully sitting, developmental limit, for the RnP.  It needs to go.  However, it's so nice to have the incline sleep option if necessary.  Sigh.

Week 26

I've had a rudimentary understanding of the Wonder Weeks since SB and BW were little, but I haven't done heavy reading into it.  It makes sense that babies have developmental leaps; but I don't know that I need to have specific instruction to "help" my baby through the leap. 

I vaguely recalled that one was around the six-month mark, so when Nugget slept like poo a few nights ago, and decided that the middle of the night was a great time to have a party last night, I decided to look it up.  Closest leap? 26 weeks.  Nugget's age?  26 weeks, 1 day.  Week 26 is supposed to be about relationships.  Baby realizes that things have differing distances from baby.  Which explains why Nugget thought she should wake up and nurse every 1-2 hours a few nights ago.  Must have mommy close.  Also explains while she was squealing and cooing to herself in her crib the next night and I went to peek in at her (hoping she would soothe herself to sleep) she had her paci outstretched and was turning it slowly too and fro, studying it carefully.

She's also started using rolling as a mode of transportation, like she just realized there is a purpose and benefit to being able to roll over, and it's not just an accident or novelty.  She doesn't complain about being put on her tummy anymore because she knows she can change it if she wants to.  She also is really starting to love interacting with SB and BW.  She smiles at them and "talks" to them, and they can usually distract her if she is starting to get fussy and I need a minute or two to finish something up.  Although SB and BW are technically our "middle" children, I have a feeling Nugget will be our mediator.  She is very calm most of the time, although she has her moments.  I can't wait to keep watching them grow up together. 

Who am I?

I had a chiropractor appointment for the raging sciatica that has suddenly made my life miserable this week.  Chronic pain sufferers - I am so sorry.  I've only been dealing with this for four days.  I hope I can get it under control because it's affecting my life.

Anyway, because of the immediate pain, I couldn't see my regular chiro, because she is like, the best ever and always pretty booked.  So, as the chiro is doing all sorts of lovely cracking things to my back, he asks me this question:

"So, what do you do for fun?"

Umm..Ahh...well...go to the chiropractor?

Nothing. I do nothing.  Does facebook surfing while half-watching whatever show the Hubs has chosen count?  Candy Crush Soda Saga?  Because that's pretty much all I do outside of mothering, laundry and work. 

Maybe he should have asked "what would you do for fun if you could?"

Take my kids swimming, start running again, go camping, waterski, snow ski down the bunny hill (I am adverse to speed), read, crochet, knit, put puzzles together, grown-up color, learn to sew on my sewing machine that sits in the closet.

I suppose spending time with family counts.  But that's not always fun for me.  I need to start looking more for things that are fun for me.

Sharing the burden

Hubs and I tag-team daycare drop off in the morning.  We have a routine - he takes Nugget and drops her in her room, and I take SB and BW to their room.  Hubs checks the kids in on the computer system, and waits for me and we walk out together. 

One thing that bothers me is that when Hubs and I are upset with each other, like we were this morning from an argument that lingered from last night, I'm sure it shows.  I'm sure staff and other parents can tell that our demeanor toward another is different.  I probably care too much about what people think, but it bothers me that this coolness is on display for everyone. 

Our argument last night was over something simple, but turned into something hard, with anger.  I have, for some reason, suffered from unrelenting sciatica for the past three days.  That, coupled with lack of sleep and stress and frustration led to me getting more angry that I thought I could.  I left the house to cool off.  I'm ashamed that I got so angry.  I'm ashamed and afraid that perhaps our voices were loud enough that they disturbed the sleep of SB and BW, and might have scared them.  My early childhood was filled with lots of fighting between my parents. Most of the details I've forgotten, but a few I remember. I don't want my kids to have those memories, so I am ashamed it may have happened last night.

I can do daycare drop off (and pick up) on my own, and I have several times.  It's a bit of a juggling act, and I may have clunked a toddler in the head with Nugget's infant seat once or twice, but it's not impossible.  However, it is so much easier to share with Hubs, like everything else in life.  I can do it on my own, but I want to do life with the person I love by my side. I want to share the burden. I want to support him when he needs it, and I want him to support me when I need it. Even after half a decade, we're still figuring this out - I expect it's a lifetime learning experience.

Me time

I packed up the three littles and went to visit my mom this weekend.  She was working on a sewing project and I remarked that I needed to get out my sewing machine that the hubs gave me for Christmas last year and do some sewing.  She chuckled and asked me when I was going to do that. 

Sigh.

I WANT to learn to sew. My mom sewed a lot when I was growing up.  She could whip up Halloween costumes, hem things, take things in, make me two prom dresses - you know, she's THAT good.  She made my baptism gown, which was worn by BW for her baptism, and also made gowns for SB and Nugget.  I want to make things for my kids, too.  At least a freakin' pillowcase dress or blanket or something. Or be able to hem things or take skirts up so the length makes more sense on long, tall little girl legs.  I can sew a button on, but otherwise haven't really done any sewing since 8th grade home ec class.

I also bought an adult coloring book and colored pencils.  It's supposed to be as close to meditation without actually meditating that you can get.  I'm waiting for them to be delivered.  I'm not sure when I'm going to do that.

The hubs and I have discussions where he tells me he feels like he is the lowest priority.  I'll admit, other things come before him a lot of the time.  Work, kids, other family help...but I come in even below him.  Well, except for sleep.  I am not one of those people who can function on a few hours.  Well, I guess I can, but it's not pretty.  I have to triple-check emails for typing errors right now, and some still slip through. But I'm still trying to figure out how to carve time out for what I like, too. 

Like reading, or putting puzzles together that have more than 24 pieces, without the help of a toddler, or finishing the crocheted baby blankets for my two now-toddlers, or coloring, or sewing, or running. 

I've ready all the advice about making time for me, how important that is, blah blah.  But I already have so little time with my kids, and they already act out sometimes when they are low on mommy time. I can't let work slide without jeopardizing my job, and I can't let my hubby slide because my marriage is so important as the foundation of my life.  So I just keep trucking along, and maybe I can do some coloring here and there.

Tired....

I am tired.  Oh, so tired.  SB has been extra clingy and whiny lately.  I initially thought it was just a phase or a "Two" thing, but the hubs has been feeling awful for the past few days with a headache, and has been diagnosed with a virus of undetermined origin, so I suspect SB may have the same thing, since she seems to pick up all the germs that exist in the universe. 

Last night was killer.  I was up late working until 11 pm. Then Nugget woke up, so I nursed her and crawled into bed around 11:30.  SB woke up around 12:30, and was up crying off and on until approximately 2 - when I went in with a blanket and pillow and slept on her floor...until the hubs came and woke me up about 45 minutes later to nurse Nugget again.  Went back to bed until about 5:30, when Nugget decided to nurse again.  As she was dozing off, heard SB start crying again.  Put Nugget down, took SB to the potty.  Nugget woke up.  SB wouldn't go back to bed.  Put SB in our bed at 6:00, awake but happy to snuggle into my pillow.  Hubs brought Nugget, wide awake and happy as a clam, into our room as well, and I got ready for work.  So, two children whose normal wake time is 7 am both up before 6 am, and I'm running on...about 4 hours of interrupted sleep? 

Wah.  The hubs was nice enough to bring me lunch today with an extra sugary treat and some soda to give me an afternoon kick of caffeine.

Adjustment update

I thought I'd add another update on Nugget since her chiro visits - it's been about a month since she was adjusted, and she is still just a completely different baby from the grouch she was from 6-12 weeks.  She is almost always smiling and cooing and laughing now, and loves to interact with other people.  She is happy to go to anyone else, and continues to gain weight like it's her job (which, I guess, for an infant, it is).  She has mostly good days at daycare, and although ANOTHER sickness (ugh, which hit all three littles, we were snot free for like a week, sigh) has her restless, she is generally sleeping good for naps and bedtime.

Speaking of naps, she has suddenly decided she no longer likes the Rock N Play.  She will no longer nap in it, and prefers to lay flat in her crib.  I'm a bit hesitant to sell it yet (what if I have a sleeping emergency and need it?!) but I don't think we are facing a battle to transition to the crib for naps.  Whew.

Step-parent titles - from both sides of the coin

I feel that I have a bit of a benefit for writing about step-parenting because I've had a step-parent and I've been a step-parent now for six years.  I recently saw a thread about step relationships, where people referred to these relation ships as "bonus" relationships as opposed to "step" relationships, and I'm trying to adopt this lingo in my life.  My step-dad always felt that he was somehow short-changed being relegated to the "step" title.  Although my first dad is still very much a part of my life, I grew up with the every-other-weekend visitation with my dad, so my step-dad was the primary father figure for my day-to-day life.  He came to my sporting events, took me shopping, came to my prom, helped me buy my first car, cooked me meals, gave me chores...he was another dad for me, and I think "bonus" dad is a much more apt title for the role he played in my life. He passed away two years ago, which I will probably write more about later, so I am disappointed I won't be able to refer to him as my bonus dad when he can hear it.

I've also been a step-mom for six years, and I struggle somewhat with how to define our family for others.  Out of respect for my stepdaughter and her very much present relationship with her mom (her mom and the hubs share joint custody), I don't want to completely "claim" her as my own.  However, I also very much believe that she is partly mine, and part of my family, which is why I like the phrase "bonus" daughter to refer to her.  Because she truly is a wonderful bonus that I received when I married the Hubs.  She is polite, kind, and witty, and I am happy she has been a part of her life.  We don't draw lines in the sand regarding her relationship with her sisters at our house - there is no "half-sister" designation.  My mom and dad embrace her as one of the grandchildren and loves spending time with her as well. Our littles are lucky to have such a great big sister.  She truly is a bonus.  Now I just need to train my brain to make the language switch.

I'll probably write more about being a bonus mom for my bonus daughter, as well.  It's a tricky area to navigate sometimes, but I think we're doing it fairly well.

Family photos

We had family photos taken.  I think we may have one or two where the teenager, the toddlers, and the baby, and the parents, are all smiling and looking at the camera.  Ah-mazing.

Nugget is a total camera-loving ham.  It's so fun to watch her personality develop.

I can't wait to put up a new family photo.  Although we had family photos taken last year in conjunction with SB and BW's first birthday, we've never printed any of them.  Hopefully one of this recent session turns out well so we can get a big canvas for above the mantel.

Potty-training success!

SB and BW sailed through their first few days of daycare wearing underwear.  I expect there will be accidents here and there, but it seems we are firmly in the underwear-wearing camp.  I am still so impressed with how  smoothly things went.  I think we just managed to hit the sweet spot with timing and them being ready to train.  I know I'm always anxious to hear what has worked for other people, so I'll share our potty-training weekend - although I make no claims I actually know anything about how to be successful at potty-training.

As a bit of background, we have had potty seats in our house since SB and BW were about 18 months.  We offered that they could sit, but never really pushed it. We also bought undies and allowed them to wear undies here and there, but didn't pursue anything.  Although I had originally hoped to have them trained before Nugget's arrival,  As I started to get closer to Nugget's delivery date, they started regressing and refusing the potty, or sitting for only a second or two, so I stopped pushing, figuring they would regress anyway even if we did get them trained before Nugget was born.

I decided to try a rough 3-day method because BW was definitely showing interest here and there, and I had a 4-day weekend coming up where we could stick close to home anyway.  I was a bit worried if we could make it stick at daycare though, because neither of the twins were using the potty at daycare.  I mentioned it a few times that we were going to start wearing underwear on Friday, and we picked out new underwear, but didn't spend a lot of "build-up" to wearing undies.

For our initial training weekend, I had two potty seats in addition to the regular toilet in our main floor bathroom.  Our regular toilet also has the seat with the built-in child seat.  I let them pick what they want to use each time.  Now, I have one potty seat in the main floor bathroom and one in the upper level bathroom near their room.  My "plan" was to have them try every 20 minutes for 5 minutes at a time, but we deviated from that pretty quickly.  Here's a brief summary:

• Offered potty.  Reminded them to tell me if they needed to go.  Offered every 20 minutes, if they refused reminded them to tell me if they needed to go, the first day.
• Kept them within 8-10 feet of the bathroom the entire first day.
• Cheered like crazy and encouraged them to cheer for each other.  Gave 1 m&m for pee, 3 for poop.
• Pushed drinks like crazy.  Mostly water, but some milk and some lemonade.  Played "tea party" to keep them drinking fluids.
• Used diapers for naps/bedtime (this has been a struggle, as they take their diapers off at naps, and don't nap.  I was also worried that BW would use this time to poop in her diaper, as she normally poops at naptime.  However, she has pooped in the potty since day 1.  We have switched to some leftover pull-ups from a friend for nap/bed, which the girls will leave on - so I guess the rest of their diapers can go into storage for when Nugget gets to that size).

By the middle of day 3, we were all a bit stir-crazy.  You can only paint and color and play with play-dough in the kitchen so long. I had wanted to try a short outing, so we decided to go over to visit friends (who knew we were potty training).  However, we needed to pick some stuff up to grill, so we also needed to make a short grocery store visit.  This also went amazingly well.  SB even used the toilet at the grocery store.

We were having such good luck that by day 4, I loosened the reins considerably.  We set up the kiddie pool and let them play outside most of the day, and still did a great job of telling me they had to go and running into the house.  Zero accidents. All poops in the potty.

I was really nervous to send them off to daycare because (1) they wouldn't get m&ms there (although by day 3 I was no longer giving them for every success) and (2) they would have to tell someone other than me they had to go.  I talked with SB and BW the day before about people they could tell at daycare if they had to go potty.  I packed up 4 pair of undies and 4 pair of pants per kid, told daycare how we had done and hoped they wouldn't be in diapers again at the end of the day.

I need to give my kids more credit.  No accidents.  3 days of daycare in undies and we haven't touched the extra clothes.  Woo hoo!

Potty training times two

Potty training twins is a bit scary.  We dove head-first into potty training over the long weekend.

And nailed it. I am so proud of my big girls.

However, SB and BW went back to daycare this morning for the first time in over a week - transitions are hard, especially for SB.  I am so anxious to hear if they continue their success, and worried about setbacks.

Nugget (aka Chubbers) at 3 months.

I thought I'd do one final post dedicated to my CP baby - at 3 months, Nugget is tipping the scales at approximately 15 and a half pounds.  She is all rolls and chubby cheeks and I love it.  The downside is that my arm muscles have not had the gradual time to adjust to carrying that weight in the infant car seat, so I feel like a big weakling.


We are so blessed that something that can potentially be a concern was ultimately not a concern for us.  My OB stated that as ultrasound technology has improved, they are diagnosing more and more circumvallate placentas, and realizing that they don't always cause growth issues. 

To the Dr. or not?

No, this is not a post where I ask for anonymous internet input on whether or not I should take my child to the doctor.


But seriously, I hate trying to figure out if I should take my kid to the doctor.  Daycare has been rough on our household.  I'm a believer in building immunity, so I don't super clean or sanitize at home (except following our nasty bout of norovirus brought home from daycare...which we only found out was the super-contagious, super-yucky norovirus AFTER everyone in the house had been knocked down by it...) however, daycare means that SB and BW always seem to have a bug.  Runny noses are the norm, not the exception.  I hate that I have snotty-nosed kids all the time.  We should buy stock in Kleenex.


We've also managed to remain largely ear-ache free - SB and BW have only had one each.  So with a few other miscellaneous ailments, they each have only had to have antibiotics 3ish times in 2 years.  Not bad.  But I constantly struggle with deciding how high/how many days of a fever warrants a trip to the doctor, which will usually result in - it's probably a virus, but here's some drugs.  I'd prefer not to go that route.


However, with two older toddlers in daycare, Nugget was bound to get sick - and she is already on her second cold in three months.  Poor baby.  The nasal congestion isn't something I'm too concerned about, our Nose Frida just gets a workout.  But now she has a cough that has persisted a couple days.  So I'm at that place again where I try to decide myself - virus? Or something that may require some big guns, like a nebulizer or something?  I feel the nurse line is no help, as they seem hesitant to provide any other advice than "you better bring her in just in case." Argh.

My love/hate relationship with the Rock n Play

I first heard of the Rock n Plays when SB and BW were a few months old.  Many twin moms were singing their praises, and I thought about purchasing them, but also read a number of reports of flat heads and needing helmets, or a nightmare crib transition, and after dragging my feet for a while decided that we were past the stage of usefulness. 


When Nugget was baking, I decided to dive into the Rock n Play fan base, as I thought it would be something that I could easily carry to and from the different levels of our house so Nugget would have a safe place to be/sleep with two rambunctious toddlers around.* I thought it would also be a sleeping place for Nugget for the time being if we went to grandma's so we wouldn't have to invest in another pack n play.


I bought one used, since the useful life of a rock n play appears to be a few months, and they usually resell quickly and easily. I didn't use it for the daytime sleeping place that I intended - mainly because SB and BW can just reach into it if they balance on their tippy toes and are very unstable in the process, and I was worried they would fall onto it while trying to give Nugget kisses.  However, with Nugget getting a cold within her first month of life as well as having reflux, I tried it for night time sleep one night.  Which, as everyone raves about, works wonderfully.  Nugget sleeps SO well in that thing, and it really helps if she is congested (which, she is, again.  Poor kid is on her second cold in the first three months of her life).  However, I am paranoid about letting her sleep in it for overnight sleep; so I put it in our room, next to our bed (Nugget otherwise sleeps in the crib in her room across the hall).  I try to use it as infrequently as possible.  It's like a parenting drug.  I try to control my use of it, I know the consequences could be bad, but it feels SO good to get a nice long stretch of sleep.  (For both Nugget and I). 


So, I continue to use it as sparingly as I can.  I always put Nugget down for the night in her crib (which, so far, has been going swimmingly since her chiro adjustment).  But, in the middle of the night when I'm tired and she's congested and tired and restless, I can't help but succumb to the RnP.




*Note - it's not.  It requires two hands to fold and unfold, which I appreciate for safety reasons, but it just wasn't workable as easily folded/transported if I also had to keep Nugget safe from bouncy toddlers and fold it up and then pick them both up.

We're all adjusted over here

Nugget was a very easy baby for the first 4-6 weeks - at least for me.  She definitely preferred her mama over others, but it wasn't a big deal.  Then, around 6 weeks, she became more alert.  And she was generally happy...for about 10 minutes out of every 3 hours.  Our schedule went like this -


Nurse for 15-20 minutes
Coo and smile  for 5-15 minutes (unless we attempted tummy time)
Start to fuss, but comforted if held facing out for 10-15 minutes
Lose it and fight sleep like a banshee; refuse to be held by anyone else but mama. 10-30+ minutes
Fall asleep for 30 minutes to 2 hours
Repeat


There were also times when Nugget would scream as if in pain.  We are pretty certain she has silent reflux, but she was not having any issues with weight loss so I didn't want to start her on medication.  I'd tossed around the idea of taking her to the chiropractor, but couldn't make up my mind (figures).  Then some friends of ours said they took their son to the chiro after 6 months of colic, found out his hip was out of alignment, and saw a night-and-day change. So I scheduled the appointment.


The chiro found some mild hip misalignment, and basically made adjustments all the way up Nugget's back, especially the areas that contribute to reflux as well as making some adjustments to her neck since she has a tendency to favor one side. She also showed me how to do inversions with Nugget to help her spine realign on its own, which I'm not going to describe in any fashion because I don't want to be responsible in any way for someone attempting them on their own, but Nugget seems to really like the inversions.


That evening, both the hubs and step-daughter were able to hold her without her throwing a fit.  The next day at daycare, the staff said she had a REALLY good day.  They are still struggling with her fighting sleep (which she does, if you miss her "window" you are in for a battle) but they saw a definite improvement.  We go back to the chiropractor in a few days to evaluate and readjust as necessary, but I'd say we are definitely seeing an improvement. Yay!

Back to work

So, I'm back to work.  It was harder to return to work than when I returned after SB and BW were born - I think it's because I knew the 12-week leap (See Wonder Weeks) was coming and I was able to take it in stride instead of being overwhelmed by the fussiness.


I was also glad to be getting back to work because there was a ton of stuff going on and I felt like I was falling further and further behind. 


When SB and BW started daycare as infants, DH had a hefty commute and usually left for work around the time I was getting them up for the day.  Now, DH has a very reasonable commute and daycare is on the way, so we tag team the morning routine and daycare drop off. I'm lucky that he is so "all-in" with the taking care of our kids - the only thing he struggles with is pony tails for SB and BW (they still have really fine hair that hasn't outgrown the toddler mullet but hangs into their eyes so it's not easy to put it up and out of their faces), so he usually gets them ready for the day and I quick put their hair up before we head out the door.


It's so quiet at work.  I enjoy the noise break. But SB and BW are still adjusting a bit to being back in daycare full time.  BW told me "I don't want to go to daycare today." Sigh.  Hang in there girl, it's almost the weekend.

You're killin' me, Smalls.

Nugget is 8 weeks, and is giving me a run for my money. All confident statements that I had an "easy baby" are thrown out the window.

SB and BW started going to bed right around 7 pm once we instituted a bedtime routine around 6 weeks.  When they hit 8 weeks, they started sleeping an 8-hour stretch.  That promptly stopped around 4 months and they didn't sleep through the night until 9 or 10 months, but I was really clinging to the 6 and 8 week mark as a time that Nugget would hopefully settle into a more manageable sleep pattern.

In response, she gives me a big, gummy, silent laugh.

Nugget has a definite witching hour.  It starts around 5 or 6 pm, and continues anywhere from 9 to midnight. I've tried to put her to bed anywhere from 6:30 to 7:30, and she persists in staying up until 9 or 10 pm.  I could try for 6 pm, but that's also when, you know, we're trying to feed two toddlers or have some semblance of a family dinner.  Which, 50% of the time, occurs with Nugget attached to my boob nursing.  I start to get touched out at about 8 pm, and it's driving me a tiny bit crazy to not get any baby-free time until, you know, I need to go to sleep to have any chance of functioning the next day. DH always offers to help but I usually turn him down as there is a lot of nursing that happens in between her 5-minute cat naps before her eyes pop wide awake.

I'm trying to track all her sleep time to really try and ensure that she is getting adequate sleep.  It's a little tricky, especially on days that SB and BW are home, too. Since I only have a few weeks of leave left, I'm really hoping we get it figured out soon.

Enjoying summer 2.0

As I write this, I am watching two ponytails bob around the back yard picking clover (we need to spray for weeds and fertilize our lawn, clearly).  It's a rare moment when Nugget is napping so the girls are engaging in "unstructured free play," which gives me a free moment to pull out the laptop on the deck.  I read an article on facebook yesterday about how they are finding that unstructured outdoor play is key for children to get to use their imagination and assist in developing their brain, etc etc.  I think this is one of the great benefits to having twins for your first pregnancy - they have an instant playmate.  They are starting to engage in more pretend play and I enjoy observing from a distance.

This is definitely a benefit to being home on maternity leave and having SB and BW home as well.  I don't feel guilty or like I'm giving up some of our precious non-work time that I get with them to let them run around and explore on their own.  While I still know that being a stay at home mom isn't the best choice for me or my family, I would love to work part time if that was an option.  I suppose it would be with some lifestyle changes, but the availability of part-time jobs in my field where we are located is almost nil.  So, I'll savor what is likely my last maternity leave, which is already passing by much to fast.

Happy six weeks, Nugget

Nugget is six weeks old.  This means my maternity leave is half over.  Sigh.  After the twins were born, I was okay with returning to work at the end of my maternity leave.  I believed I was a better mom as a working mom.  I think it will be harder to return this time.  I've settled into being a mom, and I'm really enjoying the extra time with SB and BW.  I still ultimately believe that I am a better mom as a working mom, and SB and BW are in a great place socially and intellectually because of the wonderful daycare that they attend, but I wouldn't mind being able to take summers off and spend extra time with them. 

Nugget's reflux started ramping up, and she was starting to be very fussy in the evenings, very gassy, and had some projectile vomiting episodes, although not a ton.  At her one month appointment, upon discussing this with the pediatrician, the pediatrician said that the most common culprit for gassiness and reflux was dairy, and recommended eliminating it for two weeks to see if these improved.

I love milk. I love cheese. 

This was going to be difficult.

I drug my feet for a few days, as Nugget's symptoms didn't seem to be as severe as what I read a milk protein allergy would entail, but Nugget's evening fussiness, reflux and spitting up seemed to be ramping up, so I finally committed to cutting out dairy.  Within a few days, Nugget's baby acne, which had covered most of her face, completely cleared up literally overnight.  She was settling easier at night.  On Father's day, I decided to experiment with goat cheese, as I found a source on the internet that said goat milk protein was easier to digest that cow's milk.  Big mistake.  Nugget was agitated from about 6 pm to midnight the next night.  So, I'll continue to avoid the deliciousness of our cheese door (sigh) and work through the remainder of the two weeks, but I expect I will be committing to dairy free.

Reflections on three under three - a few weeks in

Since a few weeks have passed since my last post, I thought I'd do an update.  We've switched SB and BW to daycare just two days a week for the remainder of my maternity leave.  Things are still going fairly well, although we've decided we need to focus a bit more on getting SB and BW more one-on-one attention if possible.  SB in particular seems to be struggling a bit to gain attention from the hubs and I, even if it is negative attention.  Although I know defiance and independence is par for the course with her age, I think her defiance is connected more with wanting more attention.  She is still, all in all, a great kid, so I try to remind myself to be patient and work through these difficulties.  True one-on-one attention is difficult, especially for me, because Nugget is still so new, but hopefully an individual overnight with grandma will give both SB and BW some special time with me and the hubs.

I am still enjoying the ease of one baby versus two babies.  I feel like I am truly learning Nugget in a way I wasn't able to do with SB and BW when they were new.  I love being able to pop her in the Moby and still be mobile and get out with SB and BW.  She still is a relatively easy baby and is napping in her crib as I type this - a milestone that was really difficult to accomplish with SB and BW.  I think things will get more difficult as she gets past the newborn stage and is more alert and needs more stimulation

I am also really enjoying not having the stress of work hanging over my head all the time.  I feel like I can participate more in my household in the evenings, help clean up, not worry about SB and BW going to bed so I can get some work done.  I am less stressed and feel like I am able to more fully participate in my family.  I'm not looking forward to returning to work and shouldering that workload again.

Initial reflections on 3 under 3...

As I type this, Nugget is snoozing on the bed next to me.  At just over a week old, we're still figuring some stuff out, but in general, life is good.  We may still be in the honeymoon phase, but both the hubs and I have confessed that things are going easier than we expected.  Which, of course, has probably jinxed us.

To start, Nugget has been a champion at breastfeeding.  She latched and even swallowed within the first hour after birth.  She dropped down to 8 lbs (from 8 lbs 7 oz) at discharge, and five days later had gained 11 oz.  Since it took BW 3 weeks to get back to birth weight, this gain is awesome.  No supplementing.  No pumping (although I did pump a few times when my milk first came in to relieve some engorgement, I was able to just pop that in the freezer right away).  We put the bottle drying rack back in the pantry, because we haven't had to wash pump parts regularly. Although I've felt I'm in unfamiliar territory learning how to BF a singleton, overall things are going very well.

Nursing one baby instead of two is quicker.  I have time to eat, nap, pick up, throw a load of laundry in.  I don't have to pick and choose and sometimes not accomplish any of them. I went to the store today by myself.  Things will be a bit more hectic once SB and BW are only going to daycare part-time for the remainder of my maternity leave, but the difference in caring for one newborn instead of two is very noticeable.

SB and BW love her.  They look for her in the morning; they look forward to seeing her after daycare.  Although we had a few days of transition after grandma went home and we settled in with Nugget when SB and BW were moody, cranky, and uncooperative, they are adjusting well.  We have to be very vigilant about Nugget, as SB and BW get quite excited and bounce around and there are sometimes limbs flying everywhere.

She's here!

I'm a few days behind, but Nugget has made her appearance, with a few extra days of baking.  My indecisiveness ensured that I delivered med-free, even after I caved and requested the epidural - too late for that.  Nugget came fast and furious, but has been pretty calm and laid-back since.  Nursing like a champ from the beginning.   The hubs and I apparently have a skewed view of baby size as a result of having toddlers, as we discovered later that we both thought she was tiny when she was born.

Stats: 8 lbs, 7 oz.  22 inches long. 14-inch head.  No growth problems due to the circumvallate placenta here. The OB did show the hubs and I the membrane on the placenta, which was quite sizable, and did say that it did appear from examination that it was circumvallate, but he sent it to pathology to verify as well.  It was so nice to have such a mundane outcome from something that Dr. Google suggested could be very concerning.

On enjoying summer....

Our deck was finished today. 

We moved several months ago.  Since our move happened in winter, the builder had postponed the deck until "spring."  Which, where we live, is a hit or miss season - 70s, then snow. 

But it's done, in all its maintenance-free glory (best part ever).  At our previous house, we never got around to building the deck (or the fence we planned, either) in the four-ish years we lived there.  We vowed that we wouldn't let that happen at the new house, and lucked out with a builder who doesn't believe in leaving things "unfinished."

The hubs is getting the patio furniture out of storage.  It's a beautiful day.  We're planning on dinner on the deck.  Hosting family this weekend.  Can't wait to use the deck this summer, at least until the mosquitos come out in full force.

Check one more thing off the "before baby comes" list.

Good friends, good food, good mood

In my last post, I mentioned that some friends were coming to visit for the weekend, and I was a little apprehensive since I still feel like I have a lot of unfinished projects and things to get done before baby arrives.  However, this weekend was a fabulous experience.  Our friends arrived after we had put the girls to bed, so we were able to enjoy a leisurely dinner with adult conversation and without any screeching competitions, repeated admonitions that we do NOT put our feet on the table when we eat, spilled milk, or banging of silverware.  It was so nice to talk and catch up.  Our friends were very low key and didn't bat an eye at taking two toddlers to lunch and not having any specific plans.  We rounded out Saturday with drinks and card games, and it was wonderful.  Sunday my mom came and watched the twins so the hubs and I could take a day and go out to eat and do some shopping for Nugget (with a little for SB and BW thrown in).  It was so nice to have another adult meal and focus on some new things for Nugget. I can't believe she will be arriving soon, and our whole routine will change.  Here we go....

The countdown is on, and twin laundry dilemmas

So, my last post whined about how unprepared I am for Nugget to arrive.  What do I do?  Agree to house guests a few weeks before my due date.  Then get sick two days before they are to arrive, when I would ordinarily be frantically cleaning before they arrive.  The hubs has (once again) stepped up and done the cleaning that needed to be done, and offered to help with SB and BW's laundry.  However, this is a realm where I am really on my own.  SB and BW are different sizes - about 5 lbs and 1.5 inches difference between them.  They are also built differently - BW has LONG limbs and a poochy tummy because her ab muscles still haven't closed; SB has a petite build with a longer torso.  Also, toddler clothing has NO consistency whatsoever.  It's worse than vanity sizing for adults, I think.  The only area where I can cleanly separate their clothes by size is pjs, and as they start to prefer two-piece pjs over footies, even this is getting blurred.  So, I know in my head what fits who and quickly sort through the clothes for each kid.  However, I can't say to someone else "BW gets all the 4T shirts (yes,4T - she is very tall) and SB gets all the 3T shirts" because BW still fits well in some of the 3T.  Pants are the same - some of the 3T are still too long for SB; some still fit BW but I have passed on to SB as she has outgrown her 2T pants.

I have also complicated this by getting hand-me-downs/buying used clothing for about a year, some from other twin parents, some not.  I would estimate about 85% of their clothing is used; I do buy them new stuff occasionally!  Which is great for my wallet, but usually results in trial and error for what fits when, since I buy ahead sizes figuring at least one of them will fit into it at some point - I think i have a few things up to size 6 already.   I miss when they were close enough in size that they could just have a completely shared closet, though - so much easier for other people to help with laundry.

Approaching D-day

I've come to the realization today that I am only a few days away from where I was when I was induced with SB and BW.  Days.  It's so strange.  I had a yucky day yesterday where I had some minor stomach ailment and it sent me into a panic for a bit that it might be early labor. 

I need to preface my next comment, because I don't want it to come across as flippant.  We were trying to conceive Nugget.  We wanted a third child.  But we weren't expecting to be successful SO quickly, if at all, so I feel like a part of this pregnancy for both the hubs and I has been a bit of...not denial, but...delay?  Like, we wish it wasn't going to happen quite so soon?  SB and BW have been going through some tough sleeping times as a result of DST and loss of the pacis, so the thought of adding a newborn on top of that is literally exhausting.  We're already exhausted.  I am, thanks to my chiro visit, sleeping blissfully well, considering I am quickly approaching single digits until my due date, aside from the multiple times a night when I woken by a crying toddler. The hubs has been a champ, he gets up often to tend to them so I can get more sleep since I'm huge and preggo and all, but there are also times when this mama can't resist getting up to comfort her babies.

So, we're sleep-deprived, and unprepared. The infant carseat is still in storage, so it needs to be retrieved, washed, and installed in the car.  I'm still trying to figure out the configuration for three car seats in our less-than-friendly for carseats vehicle. In the process, I've considered a minivan...gasp. I've got size one diapers stocked, but still need to snag some newborns. The nursery is closer to being done, but still needs pictures hung.

So, nugget - stay put for a little while longer.  Mama is still comfortable, and we have a lot more to accomplish before you are an outside baby.

Toddler Twins talking

I love our daycare.  They focus so well on infant through preschool intellectual, social and emotional development.  The hubs and I dropped the girls off for daycare the morning after tossing their pacis, and notified the lead teacher that they had done really well with dropping them off, and had processed it well.  She proceeded to tell us that toddlers can learn up to four new words a day.  Four.  Now I feel challenged to make sure I am introducing four words to them a day, in a context that they can understand the usage.

I don't want this post to seem braggy or preachy.  I know all kids are different.  But I also get tired of people who generalize that twins "talk late" or that twin parents shouldn't be worried if their twins aren't using many words by two "because they are twins".  A few weeks before SB and BW had their 18-month doctor appointment, I started writing down words that they spoke, because I wanted to have an idea of their word count if the doctor asked.  I had to keep pulling the list out frequently because they were adding words every day. By 18 months, they each were saying approximately 85-90 words, not counting animal sounds.

The downside?  They also easily pick up on my terrible speech habits and repeat them - most of which I am unaware of until two little minions in my house start using them frequently.  For a long time, SB and BW used "Yeah" as a reply instead of "yes".  I joked it was the German in them.  Now, when they are trying to assert their independence, they emphatically say "I do it, kay?" - apparently from the multitude of times they have heard me say, "Mommy will do it, okay?"  And my latest, least favorite, when I say their name, they will reply "What?" Argh. 

Bye bye paci/wubba/nukie

We bit the bullet and got rid of SB and BW's pacis Sunday night.  We planned to do it this coming weekend, when we didn't have big plans with anyone else and could sneak in naps if need be or put the girls to bed early.  But circumstances presented themselves, so we jumped off the cliff.  This was on my list of things to do before Nugget arrives, so I'm hoping it goes smoothly. 

Like most of my parenting choices, this is one that changed pre- and post-baby.  I had not wanted to introduce pacifiers, because i was concerned about nipple confusion with breastfeeding.  That lasted until our second night home, when we caved and offered the girls pacis.  It was a wonderful decision.  It did not interfere with our BFing relationship and SB and BW could satisfy their need to suck without being attached to me at all times.  By four months, we only gave the girls their pacis in the car and for sleeping time.  We also invested in Wubbanubs.  Best.paci.ever.  We rarely had to go in to give them the wubbanub because if it fell out of their mouth while sleeping, they could find it.  It was also nearly impossible for them to fall through the slats of the crib.   At five months, we took away wubbas in the car, and they only got them for sleep time.  Although I planned to take them away at a year, SB and BW were not ready.  They had only recently started consistently sleeping through the night, were getting their first molars...and it just continued from there.  There was always a disruption or reason to not take them away.  SB chewed through hers about six months ago...and we panicked and gave her a spare we had laying around after she wouldn't settle at all. 

About a month ago, SB's paci at daycare broke.  She's been napping without one at daycare since.

However, Friday night SB's home paci cracked.  The girls didn't take a nap Saturday, and I gave it to her Saturday night, but I didn't want to keep giving her a potential choking hazard.  I also didn't want to introduce another new one, when we were so close to giving them up.  So, we asked her if we should throw it away since it was broken, and explained this meant that there would be no more paci.  She agreed she wanted to throw it away.  BW doesn't like to be left out, so we asked if she would like to throw hers away too, and she said she did (she still has her wubbanub, so we cut the paci part off and she kept the animal part). So we had both girls throw theirs in the trash.

We put them to bed...and crying ensued.  I think the problem here is SB and BW are pretty smart, and SB knew that her paci was still RIGHT THERE in the garbage and someone could retrieve it for her, as we expected SB to transition much better.  It took them about an hour and a half to finally fall asleep.  But, once asleep, they did phenomenal.  Possibly because they were so worn out, but we didn't have to get up once to comfort/console during the night.  Of course, I slept terrible because I was EXPECTING it to be a disastrous night, so I couldn't seem to get into a deep sleep.  We heard a "paci broke" over the monitor, and a whimper here or there, but we didn't have to go soothe them once.  Go SB and BW!  Although they commented this morning about "paci broke" they did not ask for them.  Hopefully the trend continues. 

Another (last?) growth update

We had another follow-up u/s to check on baby's size recently.  Good news, baby is growing right on track in the 50th percentile, so the OB is fine with not continuing growth ultrasounds.  This ultrasound the tech was also not able to clearly visualize the circumvallate placenta on the scan.  I've been able to see it on the previous scans as well, and was having difficulty seeing the curved edges on the last ultrasound, so the OB is interested to see if the placenta is really circumvallate at all and has asked that if he is not there to deliver me, that I have them send the placenta to pathology to verify if it really is circumvallate.  Nugget has been very active, and I am almost certain she will have her nights and days mixed up when she arrives, as she loves to dance and kick away in the wee hours.

We're only about a month away from d-day now, which is still so hard for me to believe.  I've been trying to soak up time with SB and BW lately.  I remember not understanding when people who were having their second baby said they couldn't imagine how they could love another baby as much as they loved their first.  I get it now.  It's not so much that I can't imagine loving another baby as much as I love SB and BW, my concern is how will I possibly give them all the attention and love that they deserve?  Quality over quantity, right?

Another growth update

Well, I guess this is really more of the same growth update.  I had my ob appointment and my u/s results finally posted, so I could see where nugget is growth-wise.  Her weight is right at the 50%, and all the measurements are right on - the only one that is a bit strange since we have so many tall genes is her femurs are only measuring in the 37%.  But then I remind myself that these measurements are done in millimeters, so there is a reason they give a +/- for the measurements.  Otherwise, she is measuring right in between the measurements for SB and BW for the same timeframe.  If that keeps up, she will hopefully be right between them weight-wise at birth, which would put her at about 7 lbs.  OB also declared at my appt that nugget is still breech.  He said if she hasn't flipped by 36 weeks he will schedule a version to try and turn her.  She is also posterior much of the time.  I have another u/s coming up already - that should be the last or second-to-last one, I expect.  I am very relieved that I haven't had any complications from the circumvallate placenta so far.

SB and BW get very excited to say hi to the baby, touch the baby, kiss the baby etc. with my bump.  I'm fairly certain they don't actually get the concept, but it's fun to see them so excited.

I'm starting to get fairly anxious about 3 under 3. As I was doing bathtime for SB and BW the other night, and they were all giggly and goofy, I started thinking about how bath/bedtime will work once nugget is here.  I expect that the hubs and I will need to split bath and bedtime duties for a while, as I will be nursing and probably busy with nugget while SB and BW are getting ready for bed.  Hopefully once nugget is sitting up on her own bath and bedtime will become more of an assembly line and group activity and will be a bit more manageable.  I am so lucky that hubs is willing and able to help out, but I also love bedtime.  I have so little weekday time with SB and BW the way it is, I hate to also give up bedtime routine every night.

Circumvallate Placenta update

I have been impatiently waiting for the clinic to update my electronic health record so I can look at the actual measurements from our latest ultrasound, but so far, no dice, so I'll post a brief update on our latest ultrasound and I can perhaps fill in more info once the actual report is posted.  At 30 weeks, nugget is measuring a few days ahead, so no growth issues to be seen yet, which is such a relief! She is breech, but seems to be quite the gymnast, as she extended her feet down into my bladder and then pointed them up by her head several times during the ultrasound - all of the "pike" and "straddle" exercises that SB and BW love to do (carryover from toddler gymnastics) must be a favorite of hers too - this also explains why I have a hard time telling what direction she is.  I am a little concerned that she is so comfy being breech.  SB and BW were head down from 20 weeks on, so I'm hoping she gets the memo soon that the exit is the other way.

Doula indecision

I'm trying to decide if we should hire a doula.  We are very, very strictly budgeted right now because of some unexpected expenses, trying to eliminate our debt, as well as trying to make sure we have enough money set aside to cover expenses while I'm on maternity leave.

I had hoped for a natural childbirth with SB and BW, but my labor was an induction that I didn't handle very well.  I feel like I can honestly say I never felt a true contraction.  I went from not feeling anything, to feeling some dull period crampiness to feeling a constant, unrelenting pain.  There were no peaks and valleys, no breaks.  I made no progress the majority of the day (I was dilated to a 3 prior to the induction) and when I finally made it to 4, the doctor okayed the epidural and I asked for it immediately.  Once I received the epidural, I snuck in a little nap and went from 4-10 in about an hour. 

I learned from my labor with SB and BW that DH is a very passive birth partner.  I think he wanted me to ask for help and tell him what to do, and if I didn't say anything, I didn't need anything.  I'm very indecisive myself, so that last thing I wanted to be doing when I was in pain was giving someone else suggestions on how to help me.  We didn't receive any suggestions from the nurses on positions or anything to help with the labor process at all, so I felt very alone in the process.

This second time around, I'd really like to go into labor naturally and give birth without pain medication.  I have a reasonable chance of having a fast labor - I progressed very quickly once I started making progress with my last labor, and my mom had 2 quick labors.  So I'm debating the doula.  I'd really like one, but the cost is deterring me a bit, and DH doesn't really seem too on board with it yet.  I probably need to discuss it seriously with him again, but like most things, I'm procrastinating.  If we aren't going the doula route, I need to prep more for doing things on my own and giving DH more direction.

Unfinished projects

If you sift way, way back through my blog to the pre-kid days, I posted about a blanket I was making step-daughter, called the Babette blanket.  It is a beautiful pattern that I highly recommend, although I was lazy with switching yarn on my granny squares so I've had to do some remedial work on it and it isn't a blanket that can handle the wear and tear of everyday use because of the way I switched colors without tightly anchoring the yarn.  Lesson learned the (very) hard way after squares started to unravel.

In that post, I posted that I was probably going to make another, since I had to buy 17 skeins of yarn to complete the blanket.  I didn't make another, because it frankly was a really, really time-consuming blanket.  However,  I did have a large amount of leftover yarn that I was able to use to make crocheted blankets for SB and BW.  Neither of which is finished, and they are almost 2.  It's a good thing that I grossly overexaggerate the size that a baby blanket needs to be, because they will be able to use these blankets into their teens if they wish.  I have mostly finishing left on one blanket, and probably several more rows of crochet on the other.  one is a bubble pattern, that has the colors from step-daughter's blanket plus a few more, and the other is a wave pattern that uses 12 different colors.  I love them both and need to finish them so SB and BW can love them, too.

Now, I'm stuck a few months from nugget's arrival, and I haven't a start on a blanket.  Haven't even thought about a blanket, and don't really know what to do.  I think I may wait a few years, and start then.

Then there are the photos.  I wrote letters to SB and BW periodically through the first year, and I had grand plans to do photo memory books for them and incorporate the letters and other milestones.  I am 4 months into BW's book, haven't started SB's book, and SB and BW are quickly approaching 2.  We still don't have any, ANY framed pictures of SB and BW in our house, primarily because by the time I get around to printing pictures, it is months after the pictures were taken, and they feel out of date.  I don't know how other people do this.  Do they just survive on less sleep than me?  Should I be putting this stuff as a higher priority?  Do I just give up and try again in a few years?

I'm also feeling third-child guilt already because, in addition to not having any sort of baby blanket project in the works for nugget, I have taken like, 2 bump photos this pregnancy.  No weekly photos, no love for nugget-still-in-the-womb.  Don't get me wrong, I feel very bonded to her, I am excited for her arrival (although also terrified) but I have horrible pregnancy acne, and it's just work to remember to take the photos before I am comfortably ensconced in lounge pants and a huge t-shirt.

Growing up

We are nearing the homestretch to twin two-year-olds, folks, and also nearing the homestretch to three under three.  Ack.  The hubs and I were discussing when to celebrate SB and BW's 2nd birthday, and decided that we will plan it for a few weeks after nugget is here.  That will accommodate a possible early delivery without wrecking birthday plans and also allow people to meet nugget if they so desire.  We're also tossing around adding in baptism for nugget since we will have family that would need to travel from out of state for baptism.  Of course, I would feel a bit bad about piling all those events on family members in the same weekend, but oh well.

I can't believe they are almost two already.  It seems like they just turned one.  Although they have typical toddler moments, the are just so.much.fun.  SB's hair hasn't grown in front yet, so she has built-in bangs.  BW's hair, on the other hand, grows in a lovely mullet-ish style that results in her hair hanging in her eyes but the rest of the hair on the top of her head not being long enough to pull up into a proper ponytail.  She won't leave clips in so she gets a sideswept ponytail that sticks out to hold her hair out of her eyes, at least.  I swear it seemed shorter this morning and I sometimes suspect that daycare may take a scissors to it. 

Although SB was more vocal when they were little, she is definitely our more reserved twin (ironic since I labeled her "social butterfly"), but the risk-taker - that child has no fear.  She will jump off of almost anything.  I see broken bones in our future.  She has an extensive vocabulary but will try not to use words if you let her get away with it.  If you ask her to use her words, she often says "please" while knocking on her head.  I have no idea where she picked up that gesture.  Her favorite phrase right now is "I do it!"  She is very coordinated for her age and height (99%) and is very frustrated that she can't quite figure potty training out because she really wants to wear underwear.  She is definitely a mama's girl and loves to give ferocious hugs and loves animals.  She is still a picky eater and will eat the minimum required to survive, although we recently discovered she loves marshmallow peeps.

BW is our "family ambassador" she loves saying hi to people and now that she is starting to learn the daycare employees' first names, she loves saying hi and bye to them as we enter and leave every day.  She likes things need and organized and loves to throw things in the garbage if they belong there.  She also loves to help and volunteers to "help" sweep, empty the dishwasher, and cook.  She also wants to "help" with vacuuming but it still a bit scared of the vacuum so ends up being a bit distraught over it.  She is definitely more empathetic than her sister and is quick to comfort SB, but is also the first to push, hit, bite, etc. to get her way if necessary.  She is taller than SB and much less coordinated, and also much more cautious.  She will "jump" off of things by stepping down, then triumphantly say "I jump!"  She particularly loves being goofy right now and making us laugh - it looks like we may have a class clown in our future.

I'm looking forward to seeing what personality nugget has.  Will she be more like SB or BW? Or will she be some combination of both? Or entirely herself?

Weaning twins

Because my blog is called Scattered Excerpts, I can post now about weaning SB and BW, even though that happened a few months ago, right?  I was still breastfeeding SB and BW when I got pregnant with the nugget, although we were down to 2-3 times a day, usually upon wakeup and before bed, and also sometimes before nap.  When I went in for my first appointment, the OB education nurse scolded me, telling me I needed to stop nursing immediately, without explaining why.  I knew from reading about nursing during pregnancy about the risks, and that they were likely small for me, so I basically ignored her.  However, I also have two very strong-willed toddlers, and I knew that I wanted to wean well in advance before the nugget arrived so I didn't inadvertently end up with them thinking they could still nurse too.  I also started to lose weight.  Although I had some food aversions and nausea, I was still eating plenty, so I decided it would be best for all of us to move on from nursing.

I ended any nursing before nap easily - I just explained to SB and BW that we only had snack upon wakeup and bedtime.  Then, DH was able to take morning duty a few mornings - usually I nursed SB and BW first, then got them changed, dressed, etc.  Simply by having him go in a few mornings and get them all dressed and ready for the day before they saw me was enough deviation from their normal routine that we were able to drop the morning session.  BW asked for "snack" a few times, but I explained we only had snack before bed now, and she didn't have any issues with that.  I approached the before-bed session a bit more gradually.  I had been introducing bedtime books while nursing for some time prior to this, allowing both SB and BW to each choose a bedtime book we would read "while" nursing.  This created a less than ideal nursing environment, as they would both frequently latch and unlatch, or turn their head to see the book, but I think it really helped with the transition once we got to that stage. The week I weaned, when I was around 14 weeks pregnant, I had DH alternate nights of bedtime routine with me, and skipped the nursing session - which wasn't an issue.  The last time I nursed them, I knew it would be the last time.  They had done just fine without nursing sessions when DH put them to bed.  I had DH take pictures of our last session.  Although I had always protested when he took pictures of me breastfeeding before, I now cherished those pictures and wanted one last moment captured.  The girls were goofy, there were a lot of nip-slips, but I'm so glad we have those pictures.  I get a little emotional when I think of our nursing relationship (damn pregnancy hormones), but I'm glad our transition went so smoothly.  The next night I did bedtime routine, I gave them pacis instead of nursing while we read books.  BW still asked about snack, but didn't protest when I told her no more snack.  In the time that has passed, we have eliminated pacis during reading time, and they don't get them until they are in their cribs.  I am not looking forward to paci elimination.  They are very dependent on them for falling asleep and getting rid of them is not going to be pretty.  I keep going back and forth about getting rid of pacis or getting rid of diapers, and right now potty-training is winning out.  I am really, really hoping I can get SB and BW potty trained before the nugget's arrival.  Three in diapers is very daunting.

Tough decisions about pets

After much thought, the hubs and I made the decision to rehome our pets.  I feel quite terrible about it., but I know in my heart it is the best thing for them and for us.  I have remained fairly quiet about our decision, because I have been very critical of people who get rid of pets after they have kids, but this is now the reason for our decision, and, as someone who grew up with cats and dogs around throughout my childhood, I am very sad that my kids will not have that in the immediate future.

The hubs had a cat before we met, which he got for DSD.  A few months after the hubs and I started dating, I got a dog.  Although I grew up with pets and had roommates that had pets, this was my first pet.  I researched for a long time and settled on a particular dog breed - a weimaraner.  Then I spent several months working with a few rescue organizations to find the appropriate dog for me, and the hubs (then boyfriend) traveled with me to a different state to pick up the dog.

Cat is high maintenance.  He was born on a farm, and still has some farm cat in him.  He loves to go outside, demands to go outside, but expects to be let back inside when he desires, even if it is 4 am. He catches rodents, is highly susceptible to UTIs (as most male cats are) and has a penchant for peeing in bathroom sinks for some reason.  He can open lever handle doors, but also can just repeatedly pull and release the lever handle to make the optimum level of annoyance noise in the middle of the night.  He knocks over water glasses and shreds the weather stripping on doors, even though he is declawed.  Although I like cats, I like them less as I get older, and I have had zero attachment to this Cat, and DSD and the hubs are not climbing over each other to clean up after Cat, so the litter box and his hair invade our house.  Ick.

Dog is also high maintenance, which I knew going in.  He is a breed that is highly prone to separation anxiety, and he is no exception.  He is also highly intelligent and intuitive and very attention seeking.  He has also grown protective as he has gotten older, particularly of me, and has lunged at people that he perceives to be a threat to me.  We our twins were born, he became very protective of them as well, and would be very nervous is anyone other than immediate family were holding them, and would often try to position himself between guests and the babies.  I was very happy he was so accepting of our babies.

However, all that changed when they became mobile.  Suddenly, although still protective of them, he hated them.  He didn't want them anywhere near him. He paced and growled and and would try to hide from them.  We worked for some time on helping him be more comfortable with them.  We let them feed him treats and encouraged him to relax and let them pet him.  We did not allow the twins to bother him - they weren't allowed to pet him or touch him or even go in his general direction if he was in any way showing signs of agitation.  We pretty much prevented any contact unless he was getting treats from them.  Nothing worked.  He still was very unsettled and unhappy whenever they were awake, essentially.  We were very worried that sooner or later his agitation would turn into aggression.  It didn't help that SB and BW love him, wanted to play with him, pet him, feed him.  They were just as excited to give him treats as he was to receive them.  Finally, after a lot of hard thinking, we decided that this type of environment was not fair to Dog, and we couldn't take any risk that he would have to resort to aggression out of frustration with the babies.  For a while I hoped that as they got older and he got older, things would improve.  But then I saw pictures of my friends and their toddlers, using their dogs as pillows, or sitting on top of them, and realized that things probably weren't going to improve.  He is just not a dog that is comfortable with small children. 

We were still in limbo a bit, but then the hubs happened to be talking to a co-worker.  Her husband wanted a dog.  She was willing to get a dog if it was a rescue dog of this particular breed.  They weren't planning on having children.  We met them.  They came over to meet Dog, who loved them, and they loved him.  We were honest about Dog's faults and his many great qualities.  They were perfect for Dog.  Dog went to live with them a few weeks ago, and they send us updates.  A part of me still feels like I failed Dog, because I didn't keep him, I didn't keep my promise to give him a forever home.  But another part of me feels like I had to do this so Dog wasn't miserable.  Being in our home and being subject to constant agitation and nervousness was not fair to him, and he loves his new owners. They live close enough that he could visit if we wanted him to.

I feel a bit more guilty about Cat - but I also made the deal with hubs that if Dog goes, Cat goes.  However, I also said that I wasn't going to dump Cat at a humane society or anything like that - we would wait for the right opportunity and home that genuinely wanted a cat, and Cat in particular.  Then, out of the blue, my MIL called.  She wanted Cat.  Her house would be perfect for Cat, as it backs up to woods and he could explore outside to his heart's content.  We could still visit and see Cat and get updates on how he is doing.  Cat is still living at our house, but he will probably soon be moving to MILs house.  Newsflash - I won't miss him.  But he will have a lovely woman who will love his snuggles and won't mind his fluff, which is more fair to him than our house.

No growth problems here!

Although there was a miscommunication following our last growth scan, my OB scheduled me for a follow-up the following week to get the actual measurements.  So far, baby nugget is right on track - her head even caught up a bit and is now right in line with gestational age.  The continue to confirm via ultrasound that I do have circumvallate placenta, and I can recognize the edges of the placenta curling up as well now on the u/s.  My mom went with me to this u/s and lucked out, because the tech was really enjoying doing the u/s and spent probably 10 or 15 minutes just trying to get some good 3D pictures for us, so we got to see baby yawn, and move her hands around and stick her tongue out.

I'm on the cusp of the 3rd tri now (how did that happen?) so I'm glad baby is growing okay.  I am operating under the assumption right now that everything is going to be just fine.  My mom, surprisingly, has stayed off google so far and hasn't researched the placenta issue - she said if she did she would probably just worry, which is probably true.  I haven't really told anyone else, because I don't want to blow it out of proportion or get people worked up when everything may be just fine. 

Baby is very active - although there was a lot of movement during my twin pregnancy with the two babies, they were also getting pretty crowded by this point in my pregnancy, so kicks and jabs had limited momentum.  I swear this baby thinks she is a pinball sometimes, and she gets some good whacks in.  I love it. 

I also continue to have almost zero back and hip pain, just a few twinges here and there.  Considering I am hefting 28-30 lbs  of toddler several times a day, I am very thankful for this.  I am sleeping well, and haven't even had to add pillow props (in fact, I've been trying to avoid, and I think sleeping with a pillow between my knees puts my SI joint out of alignment).  I'm seriously considering sending my chiropractor flowers or a big basket of candy for their office as a thank you.

Placenta update

I'm trying to follow along with the riveting saga that is my circumvallate placenta just so there is another resource out there besides the various chats you may be able to unearth or the scary statistics you may come across.  I had a follow-up ultrasound recently that was intended to (1) check baby's spine, as the tech was not able to adequately visualize the upper spine at the anatomy scan, and (2) check on placenta and growth of the baby.  Unfortunately, there was a miscommunication between my OB's office and the imaging lab, and despite my insistence to the tech that a major reason for the follow-up ultrasound was to check on baby's growth, the tech did not do any measurements or try to verify if she should be doing measurements.  So, we received confirmation that baby's spine is fine, I do have the circumvallate placenta, but no word on whether baby is growing appropriately. Argh.  So, I have another ultrasound next week to check baby's measurements.  I really hope she is growing okay.

I'm a chiro convert

So, when I was pregnant with SB and BW, I had really bad pelvic pain, which I self-diagnosed as sacro-iliac (SI) joint pain and SPD (symphsis pubis dysfunction).  SPD can be quite debilitating and seems to be fairly common in twin pregnancies.  It sounds a bit comical, but it basically hurts to spread your legs at all.  So, getting into a car, turning over in bed, trying to push something aside with your leg - all cause pretty ridiculous pain.  Any activity would pretty much increase my pain drastically the next day.  Turning over in bed was something I would have to talk myself into and required tensing and contracting certain muscles to hold my pelvis in place as much as possible.  I talked to my doctor about my pain, and he prescribed a maternity support belt, which did nothing.  It took a few months after SB and BW were born before I wasn't feeling constant shifting and rubbing in my pelvis.

Fast forward to this pregnancy.  I had some concerns about pelvic pain, but I thought I would probably be in the clear since I was only carrying one baby this time.  I hosted a baby shower for my niece, at around 22 weeks, and by the end of the day I had soreness in my upper pelvic area in back.  I chalked it up to being on my feet for the whole day and didn't think much of it.  Then, a few days later, I tried to lean over to look into a storage bin.  I immediately had shooting pain in my pelvis that made me crumple up on the bed.  I finally got upright and hobbled upstairs.  I tried all sorts of yoga poses and stretches but nothing helped.  Turning over in bed was suddenly impossible without serious pain.  I was having to grab the waistband of my pants and physically pull my pelvis around to avoid aggravating the pain. I googled pelvic/tailbone pain in pregnancy and read that the cure is delivery.  I wanted to cry, as I didn't know if I could face 18 more weeks of the pain.  It hurt to pick up SB and BW. It hurt to get up from a seated position. It hurt to stand.  I started developing severe sciatic pain on top of my pelvic and tailbone pain.

I've been a bit distrustful of chiropractors, and I've read some pretty yucky medical malpractice legal cases resulting from chiropractic care, so I've never been to a chiropractor before.  But I could tell something was not right, so I bit the bullet and went to see a chiropractor who is also an acquaintance of the hubs and I, and who I know had experience with chiro care during pregnancy.  She evaluated me, stated my left SI joint was out of place, and the inflammation was pressing on my sciatic nerve, and then proceeded to pop it back in.  It made a massive popping noise when it went back into place, and I had an immediate feeling of relief, almost an endorphin rush.  My pain got progressively better throughout the day, and was gone, literally gone, by that night.  She advised me to ice and not pick up SB and BW for the next few days and return for a follow up.  I did not ice or avoid picking up the girls, but remained pain free.  She did a small adjustment a few days later and realigned things again, and said I don't need to return unless it goes out of alignment.  It's been a few weeks now, and I am still pain-free.  I am amazed at how completely it alleviated my pain.  I'll probably go back one more time in the third tri (which is fast approaching) and make sure everything is in alignment before delivery.

Takeaway?  Don't rely only on your doctor to point you in the right direction regarding pain in pregnancy, and don't rely on google.  Explore other options. 

Amber teething necklaces

So, with SB and BW having total craptastic sleep lately, a marked increase in drooling that should not be normal for a toddler, SB struggling to pop her bottom canines through for what feels like a year now, and 2-year molars on the horizon, I decided to hop into the game late and buy some baltic amber teething necklaces.  They don't really wear them much because they can't sleep in them, (they apparently have baby cankles so  I can't do the double wrap around the ankle that some moms recommend), and they can't wear them to daycare, so they basically wear them on weekends.  But if it results in a non-meltdown toddler for the weekend, I'll take it.

I didn't know until I started shopping for these necklaces that baltic amber was such a counterfeit product.  I'm fairly confident that the ones I eventually purchased were real, although I still don't feel 100% sure.  Initially you would have thought I put a terrible torture device on them, they love their necklaces now.  Do they help?  I can't tell for sure - the most definitive change I've noticed so far is a decrease in drool.  SB was literally drooling down her shirt sometimes like a 5-month-old baby previously, and the drool has pretty much stopped.  Plus, SB's one canine did finally cut through this weekend, so hopefully we only have to work through one more of those. 

Even if they only have some minimal effect - they are super cute, and SB and BW should be done with them right around the time that I can consider them for the baby that is currently gestating, then I'll probably try to re-sell them for close to what I paid.

Placenta Pizza

Ew, I know, that's the grossest blog title ever.  However, according to my OB, this is the easiest way to describe circumvallate placenta.  A normal placenta is smooth and uniform.  With a circumvallate placenta, the membranes curves up on its edges, like a pizza crust.  Because the hubs loves my OB and loves to joke with him, there were additional comments about lunch and eating pizza and red sauce that I will not include here.

Bottom line - my OB is not concerned about the placenta diagnosis at this time.  I will have ultrasounds every four weeks to check on baby's growth, (the next at about 24 weeks) and we need a follow-up ultrasound anyway because they were not able to properly image baby's spine. On my own, I'm trying not to overdo things and trying to really focus on eating healthy, even more than before, to make sure baby is getting all the nutrients it needs.  Baby is a bit of a night owl, and usually is pretty chill during the day, but has a definite active period around 9-10 pm, then usually throws some kicks in for good measure whenever I wake up during the night (which, with two toddlers teething and sick, is far more often than I would like).

Why hello, pregnancy curve ball.

While I was very happy to find out that our latest child, still cooking, is a singleton, I did lament to the hubs that I would miss getting all the ultrasounds that we did with the twins.  Because of my awesome OB that I switched to after kicking first mediocre OB to the curb, we had a number of monitoring ultrasounds (for a total of nine, I believe) to make sure the girls were growing well and weren't at risk for complications.  So, since we're just having one this time, I expected that we would have just our initial dating ultrasound, and the anatomy scan.

I should just stop complaining.  Seriously.

We recently had our anatomy scan, and a few days later, I received a notification that I had new information posted to my electronic health record.  I went and looked and was surprised that they posted the ultrasound findings, as usually these results aren't posted until after my OB appointment to discuss the findings.  In reviewing the results, the findings included a finding of circumvallate placenta.  I had to google it, as I hadn't heard this one before.

Circumvallate placenta is apparently very rare, occurring in 1-2% of pregnancies. Because it is rare, it's hard to find a lot of information on it online.  Basically, in my totally uneducated understanding, the placenta implants too deeply, takes up too much room, and then curls in on itself to compensate, which results in less surface area for the baby.  There can be a number of complications arising from this.  Bleeding. Placental abruption.  Premature rupture of membranes. Premature birth. Growth restriction for the baby.

However, all this must be taken with a grain of salt, as it apparently can be quite difficult to definitively diagnose circumvallate placenta via ultrasound, and the only way to definitively diagnose is after birth.  Bleeding is quite common, and I haven't had any so far this pregnancy (knock on wood) so I'm hoping it is either a misdiagnosis or I have a less serious case. I'll update again after speaking with my OB - but I wanted to blog about this since it is SO difficult to find info about this condition.